SMMT Test Day 2014

Whichever way you look at it, 700 miles is a long way. It simply is. Try and visualize it in your head and you’ll see what i mean. Daunting. Sometimes though, on the rare occasion when the planets align, there’s a full moon in the sky and your underwear starts off fresh and crispy, you get yourself stuck in, do the deed and step out at the other end with a huge grin on your face. Knackered but happy.

The catalyst employed to get such results has been previously found in a cocktail of exciting cars, winding roads and like minded friends, that which we affectionately call the Highland Hoon. You can read more about that adventure later in the year. Today though, I’m going South. In a diesel Mazda. On my own. For a 700mile round trip down the M6/M1 and back again. Deepest joy. So why the smile?

Well I’m off to Millbrook proving ground for the SMMT test day. It’s an annual event,  organised by the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, in which they invite people like us to spend the day driving a plethora of new and significant cars from a range of car makers then relay this all back to you in the hope you go try n buy their cars. There’s around 40 makes and over 150 cars to choose from, MG to McLaren, Renault to Rolls-Royce, each car but a time slot or a queue away.

On the way down, I picked up my co test driver, family member and TT contributor William (we’ll be featuring his own collection soon) and aimed for Milton Keynes. After a pretty gruelling 50mph slog down the last section of the M1 from Leeds we arrived at the hotel around 11.30pm, grabbed 2 bottles of rather expensive Peroni and planned the next day. I think I was asleep by 11.45ish. So how do you rate these cars objectively in a way that you lot will relate to? The one question to rule them all, “What would this car be like on a hoon?”. We are lucky to have such a wide selection of people and vehicles that make up our TT clan, there’s no single best car and always some surprises. A short list was drawn up and here is the run down for each car we managed to sample.

If you don’t know Millbrook it’s where they shoot 5th Gear. A test centre for vehicles made up of a high speed bowl, a city course, off road track and the fantastic Alpine course. The latter is where we spent 90% of the day, under the premise it most closely resembled Tartan Tarmac. Slots double booked between us, to allow 2 laps as passenger and 2 laps driving unless accompanied by a manufacturer rep who were all very interesting people to talk to, not just sales people. Very varied approach depending on the car, some people threw us the keys and said enjoy, some made us sign excess waivers and sat next to us. Nobody told us to slow down other than the poor marshals who got soaked during the mid day thunder storm. This Alpine course really is like back home.

A bacon roll, coffee, 30min presentation and safety brief and then out the back of the hall to pick up your driver’s pass and get started. Stood there searching the table, looking for my key to the pleasure dome and it’s nowhere to be seen. Panic starts to set in. Fallen at the first hurdle? Surely not. Then I spot it. On it’s own special little table. Next to Godzilla owning David Yu. Guess that makes me kind of a big deal. Off we go then :

Honda NSX The legendary Honda was the first car of the day. It’s the one I have wanted to drive for a very long time and spent a good chunk of money trying to imitate in my V6 Mr2 building days. We were that early to the stand Honda had no one to sit next to us. “On you go then. Just try not to bend it”. 20k miles on the clock and stone cold, we rolled round for a sighting lap to get settled. Car fully up to temp and half an idea where we are going, let’s see what the fuss is about.

The controls are taught and precise, steering wheel a little on the large side but the rack is spot on. Brake and accelerator pedals in the right place to relive those loafer wearing, Senna-esque heel and toe dreams. The front end grips eagerly as you turn in under braking, the back end sets itself up, followed by a moment of what feels like body flex, the car stiffens up again and you flow round in a professional, tidy looking manner. The whole car feels like all it’s ever wanted to do was nail that corner. Every single time. The engine is a delight, revving freely but with a good wad of torque mid range. It sings away behind your ear a merry little tune and utterly pitch perfect. Could do with a slightly meatier PA system though. The gear shift is a little notchy until really up to temp but the gear ratios could not have been better chosen. The drivetrain package is one of, if not the best matched pairings I have ever had the pleasure of man handling. This NSX has every single horse still in tact and in fine shape. I’m considering selling body parts to own one. Anyone fancy a swap for an air cooled 911? It’s not even 9.30am and I’m already smitten.

Jaguar F type V6

The first of the new breed to try. It’s an undeniably pretty looking thing. Not overly big like previous Jags, the proportions are correct and give an air of sportiness that even an XK-RS would struggle with. The roof line and rear hatch is a classic. 10 points to Jaguar styling department. Inside, the seats grip you well and the finish is what you would expect from this level of car, even for the entry level model i’m sat in, it’s a nice place to be.

So what is the F type? A 911 competitor? A GT86 with a proper engine? A scaled down Aston? Given my short time in the car, i’d say it ticks most of those boxes. The V6 engine is pretty sweet and has good dollop of torque. The over run crackles are fun at first but you soon notice they have a fixed regularity in number and delivery. I’d hate to suggest they are “fake” but they do feel somewhat synthetic.

Brakes, for their size, seem to struggle with the F type’s weight. Which is surprising on both sides of that comment. Overall, close to being a car I could keep forever but just not quite there. Now if only it had a bigger engine…

Mitsubishi Evo6 Tommy Makkinen

It’s not often you get in a historical car, signed by a rally legend and are handed the keys. I was expecting a passenger ride but no, climb in, settle into the drivers seat and spot the milometer. Two thousand and sixteen. Gulp. Better be gentle. As 2 litre turbo charged cars go, it has a good wad of character and ragging it round the Alpine course was at the forefront of my mind. Being directed onto the high speed bowl, straight into lane 3 and limited to 100mph I couldn’t think of anything less suitable. Bring a high miler next time Mitsubishi and let us drive the thing properly!

Corsa VXR

The only car we tested out on the road course. Not deliberately either. The time it took to get out the grounds with a 15mph, speed gun enforced limit, pretty much set the tone. If there are thrills to be enjoyed from this pocket rocket, they weren’t achieved on this occasion.  We will endeavour to try again in future.

Maserati GranTurismo MC  Stradale

Second only to the McL 650s in the premium stakes today, the GT MC Stradale is a car you approach tentatively at the best of times. With greasy tarmac and standing water in places, your derriere is making buttons before it even hits the high quality sports seats. Yet Maserati didn’t seem too fussed. What I assumed would be a strictly guided, accompanied lap was in fact a quick run down of the chassis and what the array of buttons on the dash actually do. The main ones, as you can probably guess, “Sport” and “Race”. When in Rome…

There’s no denying the noise the engine makes is pretty special. The chassis is sharp and the car stops in a manner befitting the well appointed caliper/disk combo. 2 laps of the alpine course in Sport mode and there’s a couple of happy chappies inside. The gearbox, being a robotised manual rather than an auto, isn’t the smoothest on the way up. A split second jump between gears, as if the rev matching isn’t quite perfect does un-nerve you slightly. A trait which can be avoided by rolling off the accelerator slightly, we are informed later on, back at base. On the way down the box, it’s without fault. Which is nice when you’re barrelling into a 90* right hander at the bottom of a very steep hill. It’s a classy machine and properly quick with it. I’m beginning to see what the attraction is here. Let’s try Race mode.

It does exactly what it says on the tin. Traction control backed right off, gear change sharpened up and the exhaust un-corked. Stradale indeed. Trundling over the low walled bridge to access the fun half of the venue, you cannot help but giggle at the low end rumble that builds into a saw like rasp as you prod the go pedal further. The up changes are just as violent but the whole car has suddenly found it’s inner hooligan. It feels taughter and more crisp with direction changes, the back end instantly more mobile. Towards the back section of the course, there is an open right hander followed by a long straight, down into second, set the car up aiming for the apex and feed in the power. The admiration from the driver following in the F type flattered what could have been an expensive “moment”. All’s well that ends well though, I manage to convince myself, and it’s back into “Sport” till the weather dries out, along with my underwear. It’s a tamed beast but a beast none the less. Further investigation is needed.

Jaguar F Type V8R

It was round about now the heavens opened. Proper, torrential rain, lightning forking across the sky and me being ushered into the full fat F type coupe. Order of brave pills, table 2! A familiar place to sit now but with some extra trim letting you know the list price of this Jag might just be a little stronger than earlier in the day. Foot brake on, push the start button and suddenly the supercharged V8 bursts into life. This is a whole new ball game. The car rocks until the engine settles to 900 rpm and leaves a low frequency vibration running right up your spine. The exhaust note as you pull away eminently more pronounced than before. This is muscle car territory.

The gearbox in the F type is a revelation, silky smooth and more torque matched than revs, it never upsets the balance on the way up or down the box. Yes I’d prefer a manual but that’s not an option from Jaguar and as a new comer to paddle shift boxes, this is the best I’ve used.

Out onto the course and give it some throttle, the V8 roars and the mid range from the SC punches you down the road with the tail wagging merrily. Spot on Jaguar, this is what we’ve been waiting for. Aural, physical and mental pleasure in a package that works on the road. It doesn’t have the finesse of a Porsche or the speed of a BMW but then it’s not meant to. This is about pure, unadulterated thrills. The type of car that appeals to a wide range of people with petrol in their veins. Old and new school drawn together in one very sexy looking metal and rubber box.

The F type hides it’s portly 1650kg kerbweight well. The ride is supple and the brakes on this version are much more direct. Gone are the all too accurate over-run pops and crackles of the V6 as we are rewarded with something much more natural. More fitting. You can see it on the faces of passers by, this is the one.

Looks, check. Engine, check. Chassis, check. I can see a good few of these turning up on Hoons in the near future. The gloves are off. Jaguar means business.

Audi RSQ3

We had been passed earlier by someone driving the Q3 with a fair amount of gusto and the noise from the exhaust caught my attention. The rain was still battering down and 4wd seemed a sensible choice so we rolled back out onto the course and pushed on into the building storm.

After a morning of sports cars it was possibly a bit much to expect the SUV to compare. Still, the turn of pace in a straight line was not dissapointing. The noise was. Terribly muted sound in the cabin and a driving position leaving you sat up very high, feelings of controlling the car from a base 200 feet away and understeer through almost every corner made it a short ride.

Can the Porsche Macan resolve these issues while bearing much of the same underpinnings? Again, one for another day to decide.

Cheverolet Corvette Stingray

The only proper American here on the day. 7.0litre engine. Left hand drive. Manual box. It felt huge.

The physical size of the thing, from it’s exterior dimensions to it’s chunky controls leave you somewhat apprehensive to this cars sporting intentions. A manual H-gate shifter with 3 pedals were a given. Only the steering wheel has paddles mounted to it as well. They didn’t seem to do much so I left them well alone.

Round the course you only needed one or two gears, the engine strong but lazy with a decent growl over 5k revs. Only a cursory glance at the speedo gave the game away. This is a quick car. And so it should be with the amount of grunt on tap. It didn’t feel too at home on this hilly circuit but north of Loch Lomond on any given Sunday, this would leave you with an expression of delight on your face that would be hard to shift. Not one for those with 9 points on their licence!

Renault Megane 265 Cup

Having an R26R parked in the garage at home was always going to make this an acid test for the 265. Technological advances v’s lightweight track prep. The old record holding car has the personality of ball busting young go getter, urging you to push harder and carry more speed through your favourite b roads than you really should be able to. Stepping into the 265 you feel right at home.

The engine will never win any awards for the way it sounds, it’s a 4 pot turbo after all, yet the performance it delivers is quite choice. The steering, despite having to direct the car and put the power down, weights up nicely and you can pin point each apex without too much pre-empting of the chassis’s behaviour. Even in the wet conditions, the 265 is ripping round the course without getting out of shape once. Understeer, non existent. And boy did we try to induce it, even earning us a yellow flag in the process. It’s still every inch the hooligan of it’s older sibling.

It simply delivers in a package which belies it’s underpinnings. You get the feeling the 265 is due up in court and it’s wearing it’s best suit. Fantastic.

Porsche Boxster S 981

Porsche fan boy gets excited by driving new Porsche shocker! We all know and admire the Boxster, it’s a well honed package and the latest versions now offered have resolved some of the looks issues of previous models. I’m a 911 guy who likes the challenge of having the engine in the wrong place. Is Porsche following the masses a sign of them admitting they were wrong? Is this the future? That’s an article in itself.

This is our only accompanied ride of the day. Thankfully it’s no salesmen, this lad spends his days teaching people how to drive at the Porsche Experience Centre at Silverstone. Result. A good long chat didn’t manage to glean any info on the forthcoming Cayman R/GT4 that has been spied testing but I remain ever hopeful.

The Boxster S has a suitably urgent engine and makes a clean thrum around the track. The balance is nothing short of superb. The manual shift option is a welcome change. I find myself comparing it to the NSX, a heady task for a car with 20 odd years of legislation to deal with and no roof. The pedals are well spaced and the brake biting point is where you would hope it to be. There’s no stamping on the brakes required to bring your heel onto the accelerator on the way down the box.

The exhaust crackles on the over run and you’re under no illusion that this isn’t a flat 6 powered car. It’s thoroughly impressive, even when you’re used to an air cooled Mezger based lump with no cat. PSE is a must have. The jury is out on the Gulf orange paint-work though. Would you order it as a cost option?

Overall, it’s an exciting car to drive and rewards even the most cack handed pilots with a turn of pace that has earned the Boxster it’s place in many people’s hearts. We’ll be back in a Porsche for another review soon and if we’re lucky it will be another jaunt South to do so.

Renault Clio Cup – Passenger Ride

Grip. Lots of grip. Sequential box. Highly strung engine and a city course. What a ride this turned out to be. The handling of this thing blew my mind, a fwd car that corners like a rwd car but without losing the rear end under power. If I can get the Simpug handling anywhere near this, I will be a very happy boy. The brakes are very effective. Which is nice when you’re hurtling through an s bend at over 80mph and a double decker bus appears right in front of you. Millbrook is still a fully functioning test centre throughout the day it appears!

A fine lesson in car control, delivered by a lad who couldn’t be more than 21. Humbling.

Volvo V60R Polestar+

To some, this may seem like a strange inclusion to our test list. To fans of the BTCC, you’ll know exactly why we are here. We already have one fast Volvo on the TT fleet and this may well be the next addition. Our Swedish chef explained in great detail all the upgrades and extras that have been applied to the Polestar. 3.0L straight six up front with 4wd. Scrolling through the on board computer there is the option for ESC off. Well, it would be rude not to.

Volvo have the S4 Avant squarely in their sights. 345bhp and a well geared 6 speed box give this sporty estate all the credentials it needs to hold it’s own. I’m genuinely excited to hear such noises coming from a Volvo, reminding me more of a 2JZ from a Supra than anything from Germany. If you were planning a bank job, simply remove the Polestar badges and don’t wash it for a week. The Polisen wouldn’t know which you went.

Not until I had a look at the spec sheet did I think this thing weighed anywhere near 1,843kgs. Absolutely the surprise of the day, the V60R has won a place in our hearts. When the day comes I need to ferry 2 kids and their kit around, i’ll be having a good look for a second hand Polestar.

Citroen DS3 Racing Cab

One of the last cars of the day for us. Weather starting to clear and the crowd dwindling we hustled the £29k Citroen round the course with gay abandon. Too wet to remove the roof and judge if there is any benefit to the rag top, all that was left to do was wind the engine up and lean on the chassis as hard as the conditions allowed. Normally French hatchbacks glow in such scenarios, showing supercars a thing or 2 down a twisty b road. The plucky little DS3 put up a good fight with that eager little engine but this was no Xsara vts. I doubt the DS3 has even heard of lift off oversteer. A sure sign of the times for such small cars. More of a DS3 posing but overall not a bad machine.

Peugeot RCZ-R

1.6L with 270bhp. Aimed squarely at Audi’s TT, this off centre offering from Peugeot is one that deserves some consideration. Despite 30 years of development, the gearshift in almost every Pug I’ve driven is ridiculously long. You can’t drive them without banging your elbow on the seat changing into 2nd or 4th and it’s no different in the RCZ-R. I’m hoping that’s where the connection to GTi’s of old doesn’t dry up.

The engine carries a weighty punch. Despite the specific output being quite so high it doesn’t suffer from turbo lag as much as you would expect. The throttle response out of slower corners does leave a little to be desired though and it catches me out a couple of times. Personally I like the looks, it has an aggressive stance that wipes the floor with Audi’s ubiquitous coupe. It feels all the better for not going down the haldex 4wd route. If they carry this technology over into forthcoming Peugeot Hatches they may just be able to rekindle the passion.

The RCZ-R feels quick. It moves around, reacting to weight transfer well and sounds quite fruity for a turbo-charged engine. It’s a good step forward this whole stepping back in time approach, long may it continue.

The ones that got away – Alfa Romeo 4c & McLaren 650s

Lesson learned for next year. Get in early to the busy stands and get your name down. After my excitement at getting to drive an NSX for the first time, we wandered over to McLaren to be told both car’s slots were booked out for the day and we would be added to the reserve list. Referring to the car as a 12C with a nose-job probably didn’t help our position on said list. Phone didn’t ring all day surprisingly enough. With McLaren opening up a new garage in my home town, we hope to address this in the future. Watch this space!

Second on the list of almosts was the Alfa 4C. Again, both cars booked out for the whole day. Popular wee beggars. Intrigued to see how a flappy paddled, 4 pot turbo’d MR car from Alfa actually drove, I felt like we had missed out. Following the car on the Alpine route and listening to that exhaust note, it felt more like a bullet dodged. Still, we will endeavour to try one out as soon as we can. Even if we have to go to Italy to try one out…

The Roundup

We set out to discover what each car would be like on a Hoon back home and ultimately pick which one we’d most like to do 700 full on miles in. The cost price wasn’t important, nor the spec sheet numbers, this was all about the drive. Given the choice we’d have picked some better weather and a couple of hours, rather than laps, in each car. As a day out though, it was hard to beat.

There can only be one overall winner, although many worthy opponents tried. Heart strings were pulled and brand traits played internally all day long. Car of the day award goes to the Jaguar F type Coupe V8R. It undoubtedly has everything we look for in a weekend car. You would never tire of opening up the garage door early on a Sunday morning and listening that cold start up before heading off to tear up some Tartan Tarmac. You might not even miss having a manual box after a while.

Huge thanks to the SMMT for organising such a thrilling day out and inviting us along. Thanks also to each of the Manufacturers for building and bringing along each of the cars for us to test. Finally to Millbrook Proving Ground for supplying the playing field.

We will be back later in the year with more Road and Track tests as they happen. Keep ’em peeled Clan! We hope you’ve enjoyed reading about our motorvating adventures so far. Next stop…

Join us for some chat and tell us which one you would pick here : http://www.tartantarmac.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=385